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My dream was always to be a mom! I was the typical baby doll and Barbie playing girl. I always played I had a baby! James and I married in 2006 and talked of having children from the beginning. We prayed about it and both had a desire for a child. After finding out I have PCOS, we knew it would be a little harder to have a baby, but we were trusting God. After a year, I remember taking a walk and talking to God. I told him I would be content with adopting if I couldn't have a child on my own. That very Saturday, we found out we were pregnant! God is so good!
I enjoyed being pregnant! I remember before I was showing how I wish I would show because I wanted everyone to know I was carrying a miracle! I only had a little stomach ache in the beginning, but it was nothing to complain about. I got tired, but I enjoyed napping during the day knowing I was taking care of my baby! I remember wanting Checkers fries, but I think it was more James wanting Checkers! We even laughed about that this weekend! I also loved cucumbers sliced and dipped in ranch dressing!
A month before JJ was due, I had a false alarm. James rushed home, we packed bags and headed to my dr. only to be seen by a nurse practitioner who told us it was a false alarm. I had gotten my hopes up! James had off the rest of the day, so we went to Olive Garden for lunch, walked around the mall, played lunar golf and enjoyed a day together! The next morning, my water had broken, but I thought it was another false alarm. I went into school to substitute and had bad cramping. Finally, a teacher told me she thought my water had broken, and I better go see my doctor. When I called, the nurse said, "Mrs. Stevenson, either your water has broken or something crazy is going on, so you need to come in right away." I drove myself to the dr.! My sister, Sarah, met me there. Sure enough my water had broken! At 7:50 p.m. on Friday, October 2, 2009, sweet James Allen Stevenson Jr., JJ was born! I will never forget the moment he was placed in my arms, and he looked up at me! It was like he was telling me it was nice to finally meet this person he'd been so close to! He was a month early and tiny, 5 lb. 14 oz. Thankfully, the dr. didn't think the NICU was needed!
Since then I have had many sleepless nights, crying from colic (better known as your baby just won't stop crying, and there's nothing you can do to fix it), jaundice, boo boos that have made Mommy cry, first steps, first words, first sentences, rolling over, trying to hit the woman who does everything for him, hearing my sweet child tell me no, tell me I'm mean and so on. Parenthood isn't always beautiful. There are moments where you wonder how you got to be a mom and how you will make it through the day. But those moments are overcome by the love you have for your child. JJ has brought us more joy than I could have ever asked for! James and I love him so much! JJ even told me today that he loves me too much! I don't think too much is even possible!
As I put him to bed tonight, I was teary eyed. I told him while we did most things today that it was the last time he would do it as a two year old. I was getting all sad and sappy while he's excited for his happy day and being 3! How does time go by so quickly? I remember parents telling me to enjoy him because they grow so fast and thinking yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, looking back, they were so right! He has grown up too fast! I even tried shrinking him tonight and giving him little pills. He said, "No, Mommy, me get big and strong and tall." Why is it I want to grow, but I still want him to be my little baby?
JJ, you are my pride and joy! Mommy and Daddy love you "too" much! I pray that God will help us as we try to train you to be a Godly man. May you come to know Him and be a great leader some day!
Love,
Mommy
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